Progressive Writers Bloc

Lying: As American as Apple Pie

By "Uncle Bill" Warner

What is all the fuss about George Bush and Co. lying about the reasons he invaded Iraq? Big deal. This is a country that teaches its children that there is a fairy that buys teeth from children and that a fat man in a red suit stuffs himself down 376 million sooty flues in 12 hours without benefit of a GPS.

We are a country built on B.S. (brain subversion). How many kids have blamed the empty cookie jar on the cat? How many husbands have told their wives that they are a LOT better looking than Sandra Bullock? How many doctors have told their patients that they were doing fine despite the first signs of rigor mortis? What's the big deal?

Do we get upset when a store marks up their merchandise, marks it down again and calls it a "sale"? Nope, that's business. We all know this is an attempt to circumvent our desire to hang onto our money. Do we mind when an auto maker shows its cars zipping along totally empty country roads or helping us get girls? Heck no, we were brought up on traffic jams, and we all know that the type of girls that are only interested in our cars are not worth dating. We know its silly. Who cares if celebrity golfers appear in ads to sell you insurance. We all know that the ability to whap a small white sphere around a greensward doesn't make them experts on annuities. We tolerate lies because we are smarter than the liars, right? Well, we think we are.

I once decided to attend a meeting of the local Liar's Club, but the guy in charge gave me the wrong address. Now that got me mad! I missed my favorite TV program! I don't mind it if our fearless leader insinuates that Saddam Hussein and Osama Bin Laden were buddies. National security tolerates a bit of truth-stretching. Who gives a hoot that Osama's fundamentalist boy-o's have a contract out on the secular Saddam? Not me. I can tolerate a few lies to help control the price of oil. I am, however, going to be a bit leery in the future of statements made by members of the Liars Club. If you can't believe THEM, who CAN you believe?

Nobody really expects truth out of Washington. Heck, we even applaud the creation of the OSI (Office of Strategic Information) recently set up to spread lies (now called "disinformation"). I think having a Department of Lies is just as important as having a War Department. The goal of confusing the American People is worth it. Why do we need to know the truth anyhow?

We all know that the profession of spreading lies and hate on the radio, TV and in print is harmless... don't they all do it? There are books and books out there disproving lie after lie from Ronald Reagan, Bill O'Reilly, Rush Limbaugh, and George Bush. Who cares? They are all helping keep us a proud and free country. Don't call it fraud...that's America! Get used to it!

Gandhi was all wet when he issued his famous statement, "Truth is God, God is Truth". Anyone can easily tell that Truth is not an end in itself. Truth has never sold feminine hygiene spray, helped us get into a war, or gotten a bad candidate elected to (or appointed to) public office. Manipulation of reality is a fact of life, and anyone who thinks truth matters is probably a commie, a history teacher, or both.

I once heard someone say, "How do you know when the President is lying?" Answer: "His lips are moving." Well, you can't fault him for that. Lying, as I noted earlier, is very American. Don't we have better schools? Less crime? Less unemployment? More money in the bank? More affordable health care? Less national debt? More freedoms? Don't you feel safer? Don't these worthy ends justify the means? Sometimes you just have to realize that it is all for our own good.

I will close by saying that George Bush is the most American of us all, bless him...and God save America!

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